At the top of the hill near the end of the road, is the home of a giant Doberman. Black, menacing and of full of angry, aggressive energy. Whenever we walk by, that dog goes into a frenzy -- barking and growling, jumping up and nearly knocking the tin roof off of his doghouse. Everytime this happens, HE says to me, "Mikey, look at that crazy dog! Thank god they've got him strapped to the doghouse."
I'd like to tell him not to worry. The Doberman may be bigger than me, but I'm no slouch. Last time SHE took me to the vet, I learned I now weigh 61 pounds -- all muscle. I can handle myself.
Yesterday is a case in point. We walked by as usual, the Doberman was making a regular nuisance of himself, jumping and barking his fool head off, when suddenly we hear a loud SNAP and the Doberman comes charging down the hill headed right for us. that dog was mad, and full of himself. I could see it in his eyes. Stupidly, HE placed himself right between me and the Doberman and jerked back on my leash. "Hey! Get out of the way before he bites you right in the leg!" I'm hollering inside my head. "And let go of the stupid leash!" Somehow HE eases up, and backs off, just as the Doberman makes a lunge in our direction. His teeth are flashing and he's snarling like a maniac. I make a couple of quick feints as he tries to grab my leg and then tries to chomp on to my collarbone.
"Mikey! Watch out!" HE yells at me. No problem, that fool missed me both times.
Now it's my turn. With a deft upper cut I bite down hard into his right shoulder. Not enough to draw blood, but hard enough so the idiot knows I mean business. Immediately that Doberman starts backing up as fast as his hind legs can take him. He turns tail and runs back up the hill towards his doghouse, squealing like an oversized stuck pig.
"Mikey! Are you all right?!" HE asks me.
"Never better," I tell him.
MIKEY
Casa Mulero
Mulero Valley
Santa Olaya, PR